Monday, May 01, 2006

Pulp Fiction

Out of sheer boredom Rob, Bryce, Eric and Steve decide to put Pulp Fiction in chronological order. It took several hours of hopping around from chapter to chapter to get it all figured out. So then we watch it, decide it sucks, and all agree that's why Tarentino fucked all the scenes up.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Century Club

bryce says- Okay, so here are the rules. You drink one shot of beer every minute for 100 consecutive minutes. Without getting up, puking, or having to pee. This night was a freakin disaster from the start of the clock. Eric, Steve, Carmen, Bryce, and Bridget all join in the fun. Bryce bows out to send some chunks to the toilet around the 75th minute. Carmen is a trooper and is the first member of this prestigious club. Bridget quits somewhere in there too, around 60-70. But the controversy starts when Eric and Steve get distracted with something going on outside. They both GET UP and WALK AWAY from the game around the 85-90th minute, only to return about 5 minutes later to play "catch-up". This story was written by Bryce, and I call bullshit that they graduated. Carmen played by the rules 100% and doesn't deserve to have Leppy and Steve running around (to take a break for a couple minutes) just so they can catch up in time for the 100th minute to pass.

steven says- leppy and bryce ate pizza, everyone took piss breaks (EVEN CARMEN) and when Leppy and I got up to yell and chase the kids outside, I came back in and caught up. It really wasn't any different than going piss. By the way, Carmen went outside with us, but came right back in, so for some reason SHE wasn't disqualified.

there.... that's my bitch rant.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Playstation 2 Gran Turismo 3 Pack/Laundry Day

Matt talks Bryce and Leppy into going 3-ways on the PS2 now that Gran Turismo 3 is out. Roughly $130/player later, we've spent an entire day and night playing this game. Cory calls Bryce about five times because he's moving out of his apartment and needs help. HA! NEVER! Manual labor and heat vs. Video games and beer?
Although the choice is obvious we pay the price by not getting a free used washer and dryer. That means we're stuck with a washing machine that can't start its own spin cycle, so you have to listen for the squealing noises, wedge a pencil in the safety switch once you open the door, and start spinning it manually. Oh, and that's just the washer. The latch on the dryer was broken so we had to put a spare tire up against the door to keep it from coming open on its own.

It was still an even tradeoff.

Cheryl gets oiled

Sometime in the spring of '04, Bryce and Steve decide to toss a frisbee and toss some beers back. It's nice out, and we're having a blast. They start at Upper Moorman Park, and then head downtown to Washington Park where it isn't as windy. After killing a case of Natty they run over to his old apartment across the street for old times' sake. Then they get the urge to check out the old apartment this entire blog is written about. After sitting on the front step for a few minutes, Bryce goes up the stairs onto the roof to see if the marks from the folding chairs are still embedded into the tar roof. (see "Everybody wants to rule the ROOF") On his way down the steps he sees that someone changed the oil out of their car and left the oil in a drain pan. Bryce carefully takes the drain pan up the steps, across the roof, and throws the pan full of nasty oil onto, into, and around Cheryl's window. Steve's got the getaway car ready to go, and they take off, laughing their asses off so hard they were in tears. Steve decides to drive around the block to check out the mess, and the oil pan is already in the middle of the street, with Cheryl stomping around on the roof, screaming at nobody.

The hot girl upstairs

She drove a Neon, blond, had nerdy looking boyfriend with dark hair and glasses, Bryce swore he could go into her apartment, pretend to be her boyfriend, and get away with it. Never tried .

Very quiet couple.

The Entry For Apartment Decorations.

Undertaker/The Rock/Stone Cold Steve Austin poster on Steve's/laundry door

Flowmaster Exhaust Red Chevelle poster on "car parts room" door

gigantic Valvoline Welcomes Race Fans across east wall

big Wix Filters banner in bathroom hallway

two porn star posters above computer/phone

"Magazine Rack" Console TV with screen spray painted black

Alanis Morrissette poster above kitchen sink - temporary... became target for darts... see "The missing dart"

Leppy's poster of weird designs next to second door

ABES Theater sign above ghetto peephole on second door

Ford Focus poster somewhere near computer/south window on east wall

Bud-Bud Light flags draped from bedroom walls to doorway to bar to east wall

Sidewalk Closed sign wedged into drop ceiling in living room

Weight Limit 14 Tons sign next to toilet

EXIT ONLY sign on toilet

Sublime sticker on bathroom mirror

Magnet stolen from someone's car on fridge

Leppy gets free skateboard parts.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Everybody wants to rule the ROOF

July 4, 2002. Only reason the date is known is because I remember a couple people getting shot and killed and L.A.X. (Los Angeles International Airport) Eric, Bryce, and Slim (Derek) are drinking on the roof in the middle of July. It's so hot the chairs we're sitting in are melting into the tar roof. We're drinking beers and throwing them onto the sidewalk in front of the apartment. We're eating burritos simply to add insult to injury. The sun is burning the skin right off our backs, but we're not going anywhere because this isn't just a social gathering of a couple good friends, it's a protest over territory.
Cheryl, otherwise known as the "crazy bitch upstairs", believes that since she has lived in the apartment building longer than anyone else, and that her window overlooks the roof, that the roof is hers. We don't agree. It's the roof to OUR apartment, and we spend the afternoon striking for what is ours! Cheryl's got a crazy black girlfriend with her, and she keeps telling us not to fight because "the big J.C. in the sky told her so". Cheryl isn't one bit thrilled that we're invading her front yard and we are as obnoxious as the three of us together have ever been.
Screaming matches ensue throughout the entire day, and Cheryl decides to bring her $30 boom box outside to try and blast some weird noises at us.... maybe that will get us to leave.... but she's playing Tears For Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World". During the chorus line, Bryce promptly changes the line to "Everybody Wants to Rule the ROOF". This pisses her off even more, and she goes inside.
Bryce then gets the bright idea to run downstairs and get the sidewalk chalk to mark the territory we have just successfully claimed. Bryce goes back up the roof and marks off 90% of the roof being ours. Our land is named "WE WIN". Her portion is named "BACK OFF BITCH". Cheryl is mad and calls the cops because we've defaced the roof with chalk. The cops laugh at the messages, and plead with us to leave her alone.

Erica Cress

Bryce's story - I come home one morning from where I don't remember and find some random girl sleeping on the couch. I wake Leppy up and he tells me that he was out with Mikey and Jennifer and she introduces him to Erica. Erica's cute, but a little psycho. After a night of drinking Leppy and Erica figure out that her sister is Paul; who worked with him at O'Reilly's. DEAD END. So me waking Leppy up eventually wakes Erica up, and we all talk about the night before and then get onto the subject of music...which is one of my favorites. I get annoyed because Erica just happens to know more about music than I want her to. After a couple weeks of running around with her and Mikey and Jennifer, she wanders into a different crowd of people and is only seen a few times afterwards. Last I heard she was wanted by the Army for going AWOL in San Diego. Told you she was crazy.

Couch cushions in the window

Bryce moves back from Keokuk; makes "tent" bedroom

Bryce and Steve ride bikes through flood water

Run into Bryce's mom at 12th and Koch's Lane. Long day!

Cabinets full of beer cans

Bryce calls in sick, goes fishing, watches illegal porn

Bryce's story: So I called in sick to work at O'Reilly's one day. I call Derek and Cory to invite them over for some late-AM beers. They arrive in prompt fashion, and shortly afterwards Rob Bowen shows up and we decide to go fishing. Rob is showing off his 4 wheel drive pickup by driving over everything in his path...curbs, trash cans, everything. We get down to South Bottom Roads, and the straightline winds have made it impossible to not cast into the cornfields instead of the water drainages we're aiming for. We then bail out on that idea and go to one of Rob's friends' house trailer. Here's the kicker: Rob's friend isn't home. Rob breaks into the trailer throught the back door, and we all sit around and drink our beer in some stranger's house watching illegal porn that's being bootlegged from the neighbor with the sattellite dish. I just love being in a house trailer when there's tornadoes warnings all over. Much of this story doesn't take place at the apartment, but it's still a good one to share.

The other crazy neighbor's bicycle

Power Wheels in the parking lot

The answering machine message-go-round

Belle - The Cat Strikes Back

I swear this cat had a different name before it was Belle......

Steve and Bryce throw golf balls at cars

Cory moves in

Entering the basement

finding the elevator

Busting up flourescent bulbs, breaking "other" door

Cracking the safe

Bryce's free bike

Steve's free bike

Trashing abandoned cars in parking lot

The Next Tetris


10 30-packs of Miller High Life


Reel Big Fish-Goldfinger

Steve falls asleep, dumps beer on himself

Doing donuts in the 3 parking lots.

Our parking lot to the Panda House to the school of Horology.

Dodge Spirit: Rally Car Edition

4:20 day

Leppy pulls a MacGyver..... builds hitter with electrical tape, screen from kitchen sink, 10mm socket, and bicycle seat tube

Disassembling the blue Cavalier

Mikey and Jennifer "hook up"

Cory's sub box

Leppy drinks all the beer... doesn't chip in

Parking Lot Baseball

It is not a good idea to use magazines as bases when playing wiffle ball on a paved parking lot.

Krista and Sid hook up.... or try to

Bryce's favorite moment? Matt coming outside in the middle of the screaming and yelling... to sing "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...." I can't believe Krista came up with the idea of fornicating with someone she'd never met Eric's bedroom of all places.

Getting the neighborhood cat messed up

Playstation controller in the power lines

Bryce's view - Cory and I were playing a WCW Wrestling video game and kept beating me with Goldberg. I was so frustrated that the Gilbert Fit took over and I destroyed the controller. I threw it around in the apartment a few times, and then took it outside and launched it into the Panda House parking lot. I made one last throw with it - toward the apartment, and it got tangled up in the power lines. It's still there too... I check it about once a week. To give a timeline... I'm estimating Jan-Feb 2000. Six years and counting baby!

Sidewalk chalk

Steve moves in.....

The missing dart

ABES Theater

Painting Leppy's 4 door Mazda

Fun with the potato cannon

Building the bar

Norm and Connie: Our neighbors on drugs

Norm's quote heard through the bathroom walls: "It's hurts when I pee. It feel like razorblades!"

Vincent the gay neighbor


Bryce's view - Leppy and I make the mistake of going to bed early and leaving several friends in the apartment unattended. I think it was 4th of July night. The next morning while getting ready for work, I walk from my bedroom to the bathroom, back to the bedroom, then toward the door to leave before I realize that all of our couches, coffee tables, and other miscellaneous furniture are standing upright. If memory serves me, Leppy had already quit Terminix, so I left the mess for him to take care of. This wreckage made it to videotape, and if I can find it, I'll post a pic. Great work Sara!

Dean the neighbor/bum

Got 37 bucks? Dean obviously did when he went to Shottenkirk at 5 in the morning to buy a Plymouth Reliant.

Things we all know Dean didn't have? Cigarettes, beer, or transportation (before he spents 37 bucks on a K Car). Leppy wasn't thrilled to learn that his bike had been loaned to Dean with Bryce's ok.

Dean hated white people too.

Cory Toolate: The Dark Months

Leppy's bedroom floor disappears

Crispy Critters

Aquanet + Natural Light + cheap Bic lighter + 2 A.M. + bugs crawling through cracks in sidewalk = cheap entertainment for the evening

Fun with Tony Bolte

Eric plays superman on motorcycle

Sid and the coffee table

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

JWCC Gradation/Grand Opening of the BAR! party

New Year's Eve

Bryce throws door onto Eric's car

Torino Joe

Rob's night in the hallway

Mikey's wedding day, Rob is drunk and talking shit...that he can outdrink anyone on vodka alone. Rome proves that theory wrong quickly by racing him shot for shot... Rome is cheating because Rob has just drank an entire fifth of Absolut to Rome's entire fifth of WATER. Rob passes out and because he isn't 21 yet we have to hide him in the back hallway because the cops are ON THEIR WAY NOW. Why? Because Eric has decided to toss all of Cheryl's (the crazy bitch upstairs) furniture off the roof. She deserved it too... she wouldn't shut the hell up. No charges were filed and I do faintly recall an officer pleading with us to leave the crazy lady alone.

The Nasty windstorm

Steve inside playing video game when power goes out, wind knocks roof off of house on State, Bryce hides his Spirit at the car wash, Annette's sister is there.... candles all over the place. Steve's truck gets smashed up by Panda house sign

Travis' visit to ER

Travis, Eric, Bryce, and maybe James are throwing golf balls at the Gem City School of Horology. Many of them are just bouncing into the parking lot and then smacking the side of the building. James gets a few good tosses onto the tin roof that make some considerably loud booms. So Travis decides to join in on the fun and toss a couple, but doesn't know that there will be consequences soon after. On his third or fourth golf ball his shoulder gives out. He starts screaming that he can't move his arm at all, so we haul him into ER. X-Rays show that yup.... he dislocated his shoulder. His excuse to the nurse was that he dislocated it while "arm wrestling".

4th of July

3 man slingshot, old building on the corner, knocking windows out from a block away, cops showing up, throwing water balloons.